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Copyright Astrodienst AG 2000. All rights are reserved.
02-Jul-2002
Chapter I - INTRODUCTION
Finding a True Vocation
When we are children, people say to us, "What do you want to be when
you grow up?" At that age, we usually have dreams. We know that we want
to reach the Moon, or learn to fly the fastest aircraft in the world, or
save endangered animal species, or make some brilliant scientific discovery
that will transform human lives. We are not yet old enough to worry about
job markets and balancing budgets and supporting ourselves and our families.
We have only our dreams and the secret certainty that we are unique and
have a very special thing to do in life. Even if our parents have different
dreams for us, we know the difference between their dreams and our own.
When we are children, we are still capable of hearing the voice of the soul.
As we grow older, the questions change. People say to us, "You had better
start thinking about what you want to do with your life. How will you
make a living?" There is no longer time for dreaming; we must now "face
reality" and think about how to survive in the big, bad old world. The
inner sense of specialness fades before the numbing evidence of high unemployment
figures, stiff competition for every job application, and economic swings
and downturns which make us feel we are fortunate to get any kind of work
at all. And if we find ourselves discontented in that work, or we lose
our jobs, we feel demeaned, devalued, and unable to trust our deepest
dreams and aspirations, because there might not be any other work. And
even if there were, we have probably long since lost that inner connection
which could tell us what makes our heart sing and restores the sense of
having a very special thing to do in life.
This astrological report is about your vocation. It is meant to help
you get a sense of what you might be good at and what might be good for
you, so that your working life has a meaning as well as a pay cheque.
If you are looking for a direction, astrology could help you to find it;
if you already have one, astrology could help you confirm and perhaps
enhance it. The English word "vocation" comes from a Latin root which
means "to call". Having a calling implies something higher or deeper -
an inner Self or soul which knows what we are really here for. Today we
use the word "vocation" mainly in relation to those who feel a religious
calling. The challenges and problems of the changing world, with its rapid
and unsettling advances in technology and its shifting political and economic
currents, have frightened us and turned our minds away from the inner
importance of what we do in life. Yet so many people feel directionless
or are unhappy in their work, even if they are well paid for it. Few of
us possess the luxury of inherited wealth; most of us must make our own
way in the world. Work, no less than relationship, lies at the core of
our lives and occupies most of our waking hours. Yet we may be unable
to think from the centre outward - to focus first on who we are and what
inspires us, and then seek vehicles for this in the outer world. Instead,
we think from the outside in, focusing on what others, or our own hidden
insecurities, tell us is possible. We are not brought up to know and trust
ourselves and our abilities, but rather, to know only the limits of external
reality. And then we hammer ourselves into shape to fit them.
Because every birth horoscope is unique, astrology teaches us that each
individual has a unique nature and a unique set of abilities. While a
horoscope cannot tell us which company will offer us a job, or how much
we can expect to be paid, it can help us to understand that, if we wish
to feel our lives matter, we need to express in the outer world at least
some of who we are in the inner one. No job is perfect; we must all compromise.
What matters is that what we do connects us to something special inside,
something that makes us feel worthwhile and impels us to offer our best
to life. The insights of astrology are not literal and specific. They
are symbolic and psychological, and tell us about spheres of life which
inspire us, needs which nourish our souls, and personal limits which mark
the boundaries of what we are capable of achieving in one lifetime. We
cannot become other than what we are, and no human being contains all
possibilities. We are all good at different things. The right mix of realism
and faith in ourselves can ensure that we feel our passage through life
has been worth the effort.
To make the best use of the astrological insights offered by this report,
it is important to remember three things. First, a sound understanding
of one's needs, potentials, and limits is far more important than the
facts and figures presented to us by the outer world. It is not that facts
and figures do not matter. But even if there is only one job available
and four hundred applicants seeking it, we possess more power than we
realise to create our own reality. If that job is truly right for us,
and we are prepared to do the necessary preparation and training, we will
achieve it - somewhere, some time, somehow. Second, we must not be afraid
to try. Trying and failing and trying again are far better than not trying
at all, for we can learn from our failures even more than we learn from
our success. Understanding why we might unconsciously court failure or
fail to seize opportunities may also be important. Many people are dogged
not by lack of ability, but by a deep unconscious conviction that they
do not deserve to be fulfilled. Understanding ourselves more deeply can
help us to distinguish between real limits and unnecessary self-sabotage.
Third, a birth chart cannot, of its own volition, create our opportunities
for us, any more than a road map can make us take a journey. A birth horoscope
can show us a direction and encourage us to make manifest our highest
values and most cherished dreams. But each individual must make the decision
to set off down the road. If we refuse through fear or cynicism, and remain
sitting on the doorstep yearning for what might have been, we cannot blame
either astrology or the world for our discontent.
Chapter II
How You See the World
Each of us sees the world differently, and feels strong and competent
in some areas and uncertain or ill-equipped in others. No person is perfectly
adapted to every sphere of life. Finding the right direction may depend
partly on your knowing how you evaluate and adapt to life, and finding
an outer situation which matches your fundamental outlook. Of course it
is not as simple as just looking for a place where you can exercise what
you believe to be your strengths and avoid what you perceive as your weaknesses.
Sometimes, working to develop sides of your personality where you feel
unsure can generate the greatest feeling of accomplishment. But it does
help if your perspective on life is in harmony with what you do, and you
can therefore feel confident and able to meet the challenges which your
work offers. It can also make a difference if you are able to remain loyal
to your values and needs, rather than accepting a situation where you
believe neither in what you are doing nor in the people you work with.
Find a creative vehicle for your feelings and
imagination
Your inner world is rich, and full of creative images and ideas that
ebb and flow according to your moods and energy. You are a sensitive soul
who may not enjoy the cut and thrust of many spheres of work. Rather than
tying yourself to the humdrum, you might be happier focused on cherished
subjects that you love - history, archaeology, fine arts or objects of
beauty, or the careful work of helping to enrich and inspire the creative
potential in others. You might make an excellent teacher, because you
have great sensitivity to others' emotional needs and requirements, and
can be extremely tactful when you need to be. Most importantly, any work
that you do needs to be fuelled by the inspiration of the imagination.
If you teach, or choose to work with others in the helping fields or as
an advisor or counsellor, make sure you can do so with the freedom to
communicate imaginatively and express images and ideas that do not require
an absolute factual basis. Artistic expression of some kind is likely
to be important for you, and even if this does not form the basis for
paid work, you still need to make sure you have time to do your own creative
work. This is particularly important if you work within a structured environment
where you have to curtail your imaginative flights in order to fit into
a team or institutional hierarchy. Best of all, you might find just the
right creative vehicle which could allow you to indulge your imagination
and still feel you are contributing something to human welfare through
what you create.
The theatre or the world of film might be a suitable vehicle for you
- not necessarily on the stage, although, given your subtlety and perceptiveness
about others, you might well have the skill to portray many different
characters. But there are many dimensions of this world in which you might
fit, ranging from casting to scriptwriting to costume design to stage
management. This could satisfy your craving to be in touch with something
larger than life, while still allowing you to work closely with others
and satisfy your need for emotional exchange. You are both highly individualistic
in your creative ideas and very needful of a warm, appreciative working
environment. The people you work with are very important, and you need
to consider this as a major factor in finding satisfaction in what you
do. In general, work which involves the imagination - whether in the arts,
the helping professions, or the teaching establishment - would not only
suit you, but would probably attract the kinds of people with whom you
are most likely to feel empathy and emotional rapport. Businesses which
deal in imaginative products, such as the publishing and distribution
of music or literature, might also be appealing. Follow your heart and
your intuition. It is your imagination and your feelings which can tell
you which sphere you would be happiest in. Above all, don't sell yourself
short by accepting work which gives you no sense of the grandeur and beauty
and excitement inherent in life.
- - -
Chapter III
Your aptitudes and strengths
An honest and realistic understanding of your fundamental strengths
can help you to orientate yourself in the world and put your energy into
areas where you can hope to shine and achieve at least many of your most
cherished goals. Recognising basic issues such as the capacity and desire
to handle responsibility, or the need for stability and security, or the
craving for constant new challenges, can affect your decisions and help
you to avoid wasting your abilities in spheres where you are not likely
to be happy or at home. This does NOT mean that, if this report seems
contradictory to what you are presently doing, you should abruptly throw
aside everything you have built so far. If, for example, new challenges
and a degree of independence are important for you in your work according
to your astrological profile, you should not immediately abandon a steady
job and charge off into the blue pursuing an unrealistic dream. Further
training may be necessary, and your domestic responsibilities must also
be considered in relation to what is possible at any given time in your
life. But a personality which fundamentally requires an independent creative
platform from which to work means that you might need to consider new
possibilities within the framework of your present circumstances, or work
on a long-term plan through which you can gradually achieve the autonomy
you need. The secret of real success - the kind which is rooted in an
inner feeling of a worthwhile life - is to first accept who you are, believe
in it, and stop trying to model yourself on somebody else. Then aim to
shape your outer life in as many ways as are realistically possible in
order to provide the right working vehicle for your true nature and values.
Stay loyal to your inner values
Whatever work you do, you need to remain loyal to your inner vision of
what reality is all about. You have never been comfortable following the
common drumbeat, in work or in any other sphere of your life; and even
if your values coincide with those espoused by the collective in which
you live, this is likely to be coincidence rather than any wish on your
part to fit a socially acceptable mould. For this reason, you are not
well suited to adapting to any large organisation or institution. If you
find yourself in such a work situation, you may begin to experience conflicts,
not only with those in authority, but with colleagues and co-workers who
are more dependent on collective opinion than you are. You are probably
best suited to working independently, in one of the creative fields, or
as a consultant or professional who answers to no one but yourself. You
are not averse to respecting standards which you yourself approve of.
But you have little tolerance for rules which are imposed simply because
somebody else wants to feel important and powerful. Your work requirements
may not be easy to accommodate in the outer world because you have such
an independent and individual spirit. But if you can draw on your rich
inner world for ideas and inspiration, you are capable of enormous dedication,
and also of the achievement of success - although you are likely to define
success in your own terms.
You tend to enjoy participating in worthwhile causes, and you may relish
a good fight, if it is with an idea rather than an individual. Thus you
are well suited to put your imagination and energy behind important issues
in the outer world - whether ecological, social, economic, artistic, or
political - and promulgate your highly individual vision of a better society.
As long as your cause has some relationship with the earthly plane of
existence, you could be a powerful force for good. But you are proud and
liable to disillusionment with others because compromise comes hard to
you; and so, in the end, you may find that involvement with groups, however
worthy the cause, does not suit you. Always a solo performer by preference,
you also enjoy playing agent provocateur and stirring the pot - and afterward
leaving others to clean up the debris. The chip which is firmly lodged
on your shoulder can impel you to fine creative work. Try to make sure
that you do not exhaust yourself in battles with those who have little
relevance to the dreams and visions which are so dear to you. Your energy
is better spent on creation, not on warfare with unimportant enemies.
Hearing a different drumbeat
You have never been especially good at "fitting in" when it comes to
conventional expectations. This reflects the intensity of your urge to
be nothing more nor less than yourself. It also reflects a particular
openness to new ideas, especially those which are still forming in the
collective psyche and have not yet emerged and been sanctioned by collective
consciousness. You are inclined to unconventional thinking, and have a
strong resistance to structures and ideas which hold back progress or
are upheld merely because they have always been there. This makes you
a bit of a rebel, intellectually if not in external behaviour. You are
clearly not likely to be happy in a work situation where authority is
imposed on you from without - especially if you have little respect for
the intelligence of that authority, or if you are expected to adhere to
rules simply because the rules are there. You are perfectly capable of
discipline and application, but you need to know that there are good reasons
for any limits placed on your creative expression and your thinking. If
you cannot find a good reason, you are likely to simply disregard the
injunction, or actively rebel against it. It would not be wise for you
to subject yourself to such a situation in your working life for any length
of time, as you are likely to eventually sabotage your own efforts, leave
in a huff, or force a confrontation and get yourself made redundant.
You need a working environment where eccentricity and innovative thinking
are encouraged and rewarded, and where your openness to new perspectives
and alternative views of reality are welcomed as creative contributions.
You could work within a company or organisation only if it is flexible
and innovative enough to merit your respect. Or you may need to work independently,
developing professional skills which enable you to pursue your work at
your own pace and in your own way. The "fringe" fields - such as alternative
medicine, archetypal and transpersonal psychology, astrology, and the
more experimental dimensions of computer science and scientific research
- could suit you well, for you need to listen to your own drumbeat and
explore ideas as a pioneer and not a follower. You have a strong reforming
spirit, and there is something within you that would like to change the
world - even shocking it, if necessary - and encourage human beings to
become more than what they are. This may attract you to the political
arena, or to humanitarian concerns which reflect your idealistic vision
of what society could and should be. You can sometimes be dogmatic in
your opposition to what you experience as rigidity in others. But your
dogmatism arises, not from conservatism, but from your vision of a more
orderly cosmos in which human mess and chaos are brought into line and
improved upon. You will probably never feel entirely comfortable pursuing
a conventional working life. Find an idea which inspires you, then find
a field of work, a training, or an institution or group which upholds
and promulgates that idea; and then carve your own path into the future.
Self-expression demands a creative outlet
For you, the real world is not the one "out there" where people sit fuming
in early morning rush-hour traffic jams or spend precious hours trying
to decide whether to buy a new television in the January sales. Your reality
is the world of myth and magic, romance and chivalry. If you do not have
elements of this world incorporated in your working life, you are likely
to find your job boring, unrewarding, or even downright soul- destroying.
You do not perceive people in terms of their everyday behaviour; you intuitively
sense the archetypal background in which their lives are embedded. This
means that your perceptions tend to be exaggerated and larger than life,
and you need a big stage on which to perform your central part in the
play. You want to be the protagonist or the director, not a member of
the chorus. Self-expression is extremely important, and you are likely
to find it difficult if you are required to keep a low profile and say
only what is deemed acceptable by those around you. Even dress codes are
likely to irritate you if they are too uniform and dull. In the world
of the arts you are more likely to feel at home, because eccentricity
and originality are welcome there. In the world of business, unless you
can achieve a position where you can be a devil-may-care trouble-shooter
or flamboyant CEO who gives interviews to the press, you are likely to
feel angry at the impositions placed on your individual self-expression.
Find a profession where you can be who you are, dress more or less according
to the image you wish to project, and express your ideas without worrying
about whether you are shocking others or making them think too hard. You
dislike being made to feel ordinary, and probably consider yourself extraordinary
in some respect. While this is not a justification for trampling over
the feelings of others, you need to feel special, and require a field
of work where others acknowledge your specialness and reward you for your
creative efforts. Committees are likely to drive you wild with frustration
and impatience.
Get the best education you can, even though you may find it hard to accept
the authority of academics who lack imagination. But in order to ensure
that you have the freedom to create the kind of working life you need,
you will have to jump over at least some of society's hurdles and earn
the right to be taken seriously. If you are an artist, develop your technique;
the work of others could prove an inspiration, so don't be too proud to
let them teach you. One of your great dangers is to lapse into the "misunderstood
genius" mode. While there might be some truth in it, is not likely to
contribute to any real feeling of fulfilment. You do want to be acknowledged,
even if only by those you consider on your level; self-expression is not
very satisfying if there is no one around to appreciate it. As long as
you can recognise the importance of self-discipline to get where you want
to go, you do not have to sell your soul. But you must present your creative
work in a language which is understood. The pioneering spirit is alive
and well in you, and that spirit has never required qualifications to
find gold or explore the wilderness, inner or outer. You are capable of
making your way with or without collective stamps of approval. Don't waste
your energy trying to communicate your vision to others while refusing
to convey it in a language they can understand.
The need to be yourself dominates all other
work requirements
Whatever field you choose to work in, you must be able to utilise your
individuality and personal vision to make your way in life. You cannot
sell someone else's product, or copy someone else's creative style, or
promulgate someone else's ideas. "Job satisfaction", for you, comes from
recognition of your specialness, and the knowledge that you have offered
what is genuinely and authentically your own, to the best of your ability.
You do not want to be ordinary and live an ordinary, safe life. You would
rather take a few risks and endure a few hard knocks, and know that you
have been loyal to your own soul. In some ways, your path may be harder
than it is for many who are content to have some financial security and
a nice, safe place in society. At times you may experience loneliness
and have to fight for your ground; and you may also occasionally be the
target of others' envy. Those who do not have the courage to be individuals
may feel threatened by your uncompromising determination to express without
hypocrisy what you feel you have to give. But even though fulfilment in
work may not come easily to you, or come without a price, it is unlikely
that you will ever regret paying the price if you know you are making
an intensely individual contribution to life. Whether you do this through
a creative talent, or through business, or through some area of the sciences
or the helping professions, you need to know, like the line in the Frank
Sinatra song, that you are doing it your way.
Additional aptitudes and strengths
Although these are your main strength, there are other qualities
which you can build on as you consider the best ways to utilise your energy
and talents. These may not be as dominant in your nature, but they are
important nevertheless and need to be considered in any assessment of
your work situation. An astrological chart, from the perspective of vocation,
presents us with an essential character pattern; and the "ideal" sphere
of work is one in which as many of one's essential character qualities
as possible can be given an avenue of expression. There is no perfect
job for anyone, just as there is no perfect world. But these important
characteristics need room in your life, somewhere, somehow, to be honoured
and offered some vehicle through which it can live.
The best place is at the centre of the stage
As Shakespeare once suggested, all the world is a stage to you, and all
the men and women merely players; and in your working life you would always
be happiest playing the protagonist rather than the chorus. You need both
an audience and a big stage on which to perform, and you should aim for
the limelight - partly because you would not be satisfied with a career
that earns you money but does not give you a place in which you can shine.
The arts provide a natural sphere in which you can express your creative
gifts and gain the recognition you seek. If you have any artistic talent,
take it seriously and train it thoroughly, so that you can compete with
confidence and a knowledge that you have the necessary skills. Even if
you do not have any specific ability at acting, writing, painting, or
performing, you can still achieve success behind the scenes, as a director,
editor, agent, designer, publisher, or concert organiser. You need to
be in a world where there is colour, magic, constant change and challenge,
and a chance to feel you are in touch with a bigger, brighter world. Try
to avoid jobs where you are simply one amongst many in a large organisation
or institution. You would only wind up creating crises in order to draw
attention to yourself and express the frustration you experience at being
denied the right to feel special and recognised. There are places in the
business world where a highly individualistic personality is welcomed
and rewarded; and this might suit you, if you can ensure that you will
be able to achieve such a position. You might excel in advertising and
marketing because you have magnetism and charisma and can communicate
ideas in a lively, dramatic way. Don't subject yourself to unnecessary
frustration in work which doesn't nourish your need to constantly recreate
yourself. You deserve your place in the Sun.
Being different requires an individual path
If you are very fortunate, you may find, or have found, just the right
niche for your particular nature and talents. You may have known from
an early age that you wanted to succeed in a particular creative field.
But if you have not been so fortunate in the past, there is no reason
why you cannot pursue your dreams more effectively in the present. Life
may teach you some serious lessons concerning adaptation to the limits
of the material world, and the necessity of times of sheer, boring hard
work to achieve a goal. But as long as you are willing to learn those
lessons, you can have the kind of working life you most need to feel fulfilled:
an environment where you can be an individual and express your personal
style and creative ideas; colleagues who are stimulating and challenging,
and engage you intellectually and imaginatively; and a chance for a wider
public to see and appreciate your gifts. You will never be one of the
herd, nor ever be satisfied with work which confines your movement, stifles
your imagination, and makes you feel as though your life is unimportant.
It could be argued that no life is unimportant, and that the value of
a work contribution cannot be based on how much of a public impact it
makes. But even if you know this in principle, you will probably never
entirely accept it on the emotional level. A mirror which reflects back
to you your role in a brighter, grander life drama is essential to you
for a sense of true vocation.
- - -
Chapter IV
Know Your Limits
Recognising your innate limitations can help you to focus your energy
in the right direction and get the maximum fulfilment from your work.
All human beings have limitations, and these need to be seen, not as "faults"
or "failings", but as the inevitable result of having strengths in other
areas. No individual has everything. Being able to understand those areas
where essential character qualities might restrict your capacity to engage
in or enjoy a particular kind of work, is part of the building of self-understanding
and self-confidence. Sometimes we have to try and then fail before we
are able to recognise that we are undeveloped, unsuited, or simply uninterested
in a particular sphere of life. Pressure from family and peer group may
push us into attempting to become what we are not, and much time and energy
may be wasted in attempting to fulfil someone else's expectations when
we know we are not comfortable in that particular kind of work. It is
important to recognise that limits do not signify any irrevocable flaw
in character. Working hard on an area of limitation may, in fact, produce
great confidence born out of hard effort, and sometimes real talent may
be discovered beneath the surface of what appears to be a block or difficulty.
It is up to you to discern whether a character limitation needs to be
worked on, or compassionately accepted, or both.
Being ordinary is not a crime
Your inner daimon demands that you express who you are with courage and
authenticity, regardless of whether you are "acceptable" in the eyes of
the collective. This is a great strength, and also a clear indicator of
the necessity of a highly individualistic work path. Your chief limitation
arises from this very strength, for your insistence on being intensely
individual may make you fear those elements in your nature which require
the same mundane comforts and routines as less gifted souls. You may expect
yourself to be perpetually dynamic, creative, and inspired, twenty-four
hours a day; and no person, however gifted, can sustain such inspiration
all the time. Your creative energies are likely to ebb and flow, and you
may need to periodically fall back on work routines which are so familiar
that you could do them blindfolded, in order to recuperate and refresh
yourself. It is very tiring having to be extraordinary all the time; and
your creative work could suffer if you subject yourself to this kind of
strain. Don't be so afraid of being an ordinary mortal. You will not lose
your inspiration, and your work would benefit from the ability to enjoy
the support of colleagues and the relaxing boredom of ordinary routines.
Concern with material security may also seem somehow less than what you
believe you should be about, yet if you do not attend to this dimension
of life, instability could create a chronic anxiety which interferes with
your creative capacities. You are quite able to take periods of volatility
in your life provided you have the necessary independence to express yourself
as you see fit. But too much of this could be draining rather than simply
part of the package of being an individual. Denying simple material needs
in the name of grand ideals or great art, or in an effort to prove you
are "different", may not be an especially helpful approach to your working
life. Nothing and no one can take away your powerful core of individuality.
Learn to relax during those moments when you become just like everybody
else.
Rules are not always made to be broken
You have a strongly independent spirit and are attuned to all kinds of
new ideas. This visionary quality is combined, understandably enough,
with a deep resistance to conventional rules and structures; you are very
much your own person and are not prepared to compromise your ideals just
because other people think a certain way. You don't mind being perceived
as eccentric, and you don't back off from confrontation if required, especially
if this involves the suggestion that you should sell out in the name of
public opinion. But this fiercely individualistic quality, although it
is an enormous creative asset in your work, can sometimes have an element
of sheer perversity about it. You may feel impelled to break a rule simply
because it is a rule, and not because it genuinely conflicts with something
you deeply believe in. Sometimes you like rocking the boat just because
there is a boat to be rocked, and you may sometimes behave like the proverbial
"rebel without a cause" - just for the sake of being rebellious. And sometimes
this could cause you unnecessary difficulties, particularly with those
in authority. Not all rules are made to be broken; sometimes there is
common sense in rules and structures, and you need to be able to assess
each situation in its own terms rather than displaying a knee- jerk "No!"
every time you encounter a rule. Equally, not all authority is there to
crush the individual, and you may also need to learn to respond to individuals
rather than seeing everyone in a position of authority as someone whose
rule needs to be flouted. There is no ultimate benefit in such a blind
reaction against convention, and it could do serious harm to your goals
and ability to achieve them. Recognising the value of a particular structure
or convention does not rob you of your individuality. Nothing in the world
could do that, except real disloyalty to your own soul. Make sure that
you are truly answering the demands of your soul, and not just kicking
at things from an unconscious need to prove you can flout authority.
Other people's feelings matter too
Your sense of personal mission is powerful, and it is one of your greatest
assets in terms of carving a unique place in the world. You listen to
no drumbeat except your own, and you are not easily swayed by others'
negative opinions or animosity. Your commitment to your own vision is
unswerving and you are prepared to put up with considerable hardship and
even isolation as long as you have a chance to express what you feel needs
to be expressed. However, this may sometimes be too much of a good thing.
It may be wise sometimes to remember that you do live in a world with
other people, and that their feelings matter too. This doesn't mean you
should betray your own self, or compromise where compromises are untenable.
But you may inadvertently injure others' feelings or tread on their toes
simply because you are not really aware of their reality. Your preoccupation
with your own creative vision may be so great that you are simply unconscious
of the effect of your powerful personality and your sense of personal
rightness. When you are dealing with colleagues or co-workers, it might
be helpful to think before you speak, because you are capable of failing
to recognise others' sensitivity and need of positive feedback. You yourself
enjoy praise and encouragement; so do others, and your generosity, although
heartfelt, may sometimes fail to be expressed simply because you haven't
noticed that someone else needs it to be demonstrated. Everyone likes
to be reminded that what they do and say is interesting and worthwhile,
and that they too are important. This potential difficulty is not due
to any personal meanness in you. It springs from the intensity of your
vision and the passion with which you pursue it. When you are working
alone, you don't need to attend to the outside world. But when you are
dealing with others, try to remember that they probably admire and respect
you, and a little sensitivity could go a long way toward establishing
positive and enduring relationships at work.
Face those secret anxieties
You are brave and independent, and you will go your own way regardless
of how unconventional others might perceive your path in life. But like
all humans you sometimes suffer from anxieties and may not always be able
to muster the kind of confidence you wish to have. The critical opinions
of others may hurt you more than you acknowledge, and a deep longing to
belong may sometimes make you feel isolated in your determination to remain
loyal to your own ideals. Although these doubts and anxieties should not
turn you from what you need to do, nevertheless it may be wise to acknowledge
and face the secret fears that sometimes plague you. Trying to stifle
them could force them to surface in unconscious ways which could interfere
with creative projects and relationships with co- workers or colleagues.
You are highly individualistic, but there is no requirement for you to
be superhuman, and sometimes admission of your own humanity might help
you to recognise that you do have support from others. You don't always
have to be brave, decisive, and uncaring of the opinion of the crowd.
You need some encouragement from your fellows, and some feeling that you
belong somewhere - even if it is in a loose group of intensely individual
souls like yourself who share certain ideals and convictions. Don't back
off from seeking advice when it is really necessary, and let others in
a bit more. You may be individualistic, but you also have feelings, and
these need to be honoured along with your fierce determination to follow
your own path in life.
Value your creative gifts
Although you have considerable courage and are prepared to face life's
challenges on your own merits and with loyalty to your own ideals, sometimes
you may secretly undervalue your creative gifts. There are certain insecurities
which may nag at you at times, and if you are not honest about these you
may find that they surface in indirect ways and cause you to place too
low a price on your abilities. You might even unconsciously sabotage creative
efforts, ensuring that you do not succeed even when you very much wish
to, because secretly you don't believe you deserve success. The roots
of these anxieties may lie in experiences which belong to your early life,
and it might be helpful to explore those areas where you may be carrying
a sense of unworthiness or the belief that somehow you do not merit both
fulfilment and financial remuneration through your work. Family expectations
could play an important part in your unease, and so might material difficulties
in the family background which cause guilt about being too successful
at something you love doing. The more conscious you are of the subjective
basis for your anxieties, the better able you will be to deal with them
in a detached and constructive way. Don't try to pretend you are immune
to insecurities. You have plenty of courage and you don't have to wear
a brave face to impress others. Try to face what goes on inside you, and
learn to distinguish between experiences from the past and the situation
you find yourself in now. You have everything going for you, and should
be able to make a success at what you most love and believe in. Your only
real enemy is your own self-doubt.
Lack of confidence can undermine your faith
in life
You are brave and independent, and your determination to follow your
own course in life is an enormous spur to creative work. However, sometimes
you may be too strenuous in your ferocious individualism because you secretly
lack confidence in yourself and are afraid of rejection or criticism from
the collective - that very collective which you profess not to care about.
Deep down, you aren't really convinced that what you express is worthwhile,
and this could sometimes make you sabotage your own work efforts or anticipate
rejection when there is no basis for such a fear. It could also make you
take temporary failure as a permanent state, causing you to avoid getting
up and trying again. Your insecurity may stem, in part, from early experiences
which taught you that you cannot take the support and appreciation of
others for granted. You may have often felt lonely and misunderstood.
But the past is not the present, and you need to be both realistic and
optimistic about your own gifts and the limits of the collective around
you. The creative ideas you express, and the work you are able to offer,
will never be pleasing to every single soul walking the earth; and in
fact the majority may never value it properly simply because they are
too lacking in individual taste and values to do so. But the minority
who can respond to what you are trying to offer is probably a sizeable
minority, and it may be perfectly sufficient to give you the encouragement
you need. Try not to carry such a big chip on your shoulder. In the end,
no one can defeat you except your own self-doubt.
- - -
Chapter V
Working with Others
One of the most important factors to consider in terms of your direction
in life is how you work with others. Everyone has his or her own style
of relating in the working environment; everyone has different needs and
requirements; everyone needs a different degree of privacy or teamwork;
and everyone interacts differently with peers and with authority figures.
There is no "normal" way of being with others, but it is important that
you understand just what you do need, so that you can maximise your abilities
in the best possible way. Many specific issues concerned with your interaction
with others at work have been covered in earlier sections; the following
paragraph is more a summary of fundamental needs which might be helpful
to keep in mind.
Independence is the elixir of life
You are capable of great generosity and loyalty to colleagues, but you
are essentially an individualist and must go your own way. This independence
is one of your greatest assets in your working life, because it ensures
that you will not deviate from your own vision even if you receive no
support or approval from those around you. In many respects your working
relationships come second to your loyalty to your own values and dreams,
and you run no risk of "selling out" purely in order to "belong". You
are also likely to find it uncomfortable working around those who need
too much interdependency in their working lives, and the cosy work place
with everyone involved in everyone else's personal business is not the
place for you. Apart from your particular issues with authority and hierarchical
organisations and institutions, you are also not well suited to the kind
of "family" atmosphere which many people crave in their work situation.
You have no real interest in being one of a group, but are determined
to be yourself, unique and individual. You are prepared to cope with loneliness
and collective disapproval if necessary, and may even take a kind of pride
in being the "outsider" who doesn't fit. This attitude supports your need
to create something of your own, for creative efforts stumble and often
die when too many people try to get involved and offer advice.
Yet you are also human, and in need of some encouragement and support
from others even if it is from a very small group of individuals who,
like yourself, recognise the importance of inner commitment and vision.
Try not to carry a chip on your shoulder; even in larger organisations,
not everyone is a faceless worker, and there may be more people who understand
your efforts and dreams than you might think. Although you will probably
always be admired and liked for your style and individuality, you may
sometimes make it difficult for others to approach you, and you might
not always recognise that there is no intrinsic flaw in needing the acceptance
of others. More collectively orientated people are not necessarily incapable
of understanding your determination to express your individual vision;
and you yourself may need acceptance more than you realise. You will always
benefit, both emotionally and creatively, from a few strong friendships
with working colleagues or those who pursue similar creative paths, and
it is important that you don't let excess pride or defensiveness get in
the way of these potentially supportive relationships. Let yourself be
ordinary and vulnerable sometimes. It will not put your creative vision
at risk, nor erode your independence; it will only honour your humanness,
which is as essential an ingredient in your success as talent and individuality.
- - -
Chapter VI
What Success Really Means to You
When people speak of "success", they generally mean a position of
importance in the world's eyes, or a job that yields lots of money and
all the material pleasures and comforts that implies. But success, in
terms of the deeper issue of vocation, is a highly individual thing that
means different things to different people. Success in this more profound
sense is linked with an individual's capacity to express in the outer
world the values and ideals which matter most in the inner world. Seen
in this way, success may not involve money or position at all; for it
depends on a quality of inner loyalty and integrity, and reflects the
real essence of individuality rather than a common consensus based on
superficial social or material concerns.
Success, for you, is not really reflected in a "top" position in the
world, or in a large salary, or in a sense of power or influence. It is
a deeply inner experience which is connected with your sense of being
"at home" in your work, and your feeling of being rooted in tradition,
the past, and the inner world. Whatever other personality inclinations
might draw you out into society or into the company of others, your deepest
sense of self is turned inward, and a feeling of meaning and purpose in
your work depends on the knowledge that you are serving as a vessel for
that inner reality and helping to anchor it in life in some way. The inner
world is not always intangible; it can also peep through the cycles of
nature, the land, and the traditions of the family past. These, as well
as the arts or work which takes you into the interior of the human psyche,
might provide you with the kind of link with deeper realities you need
to feel you are fulfilling a vocation rather than simply doing a job.
Family life can also provide the sense of continuity and containment,
and this may be no less a vocation than what most people deem to be a
successful job. It is the sense of deep connection which you seek and
need to nourish your soul.
A certain diffidence and lack of self-confidence could
make it hard for you to engage on the profound inner journey which is
so important for your sense of purpose in life. You might find it difficult
to distance yourself from the hopes and expectations of your family background,
or believe you do not deserve to create anything in your own right. A
bit of self-doubt, as long as it is not excessive, can make you more sensitive
to the needs and rights of others, and can also help you to demand authenticity
from yourself in any work you do. And your powerful drive for self-expression,
hedged about by personal uncertainty, could help you to find just the
right creative vehicle to express that inner world which is so vital for
the nourishment of your soul.
Paradoxically, you may need to travel far from the place of your origins
in order to find what you feel to be your deepest roots and substance.
Or you may need to build on an inheritance from the past which you need
to transform so that it is truly your own rather than simply a perpetuation
of others' efforts and creative energy. Don't be afraid to leave the past
behind in order to refind it in a new and more meaningful form. A true
vocation, for you, needs to offer you a vehicle through which your sense
of continuity with everything and everyone that came before you can be
creatively expressed.
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