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ARIES
"It's not COOKED yet?"
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TAURUS
"...and that's how I got Maury to give me the biggest turkey they had for half price...and throw in the pecan pie for FREE!"
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GEMINI
"Could you put me on speakerphone?"
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CANCER
"It's okay...it's not Mom's...but it's okay."
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LEO
"...and I'd like to thank my high school teacher Mr. Beasley, who taught me that it's not just about being talented, but how you use your talents..."
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VIRGO
"Did everyone wash their hands?"
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LIBRA
"Aunt Cleo, that lipstick on your teeth matches the cranberry sauce perfectly!"
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SCORPIO
"So Ernie, how's the Viagra? Things looking up?"
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SAGITTARIUS
"In Borneo, they eat sheep brains to celebrate special occasions."
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AQUARIUS
"It's bad enough smelling that dead bird carcass cooking all day...but did you have to wear that fur coat?"
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PISCES
"Oh...(sniff...whimper)...that poor turkey."
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