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By The Signs
Horoscope Humor
Zodiac Signs
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Saggitarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
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ARIES
What they really want: - Guest spot on 'Fear Factor'.
What they'll get: - Backyard trampoline.
TAURUS
Wants - Weekend in Aspen with J. Lo's personal trainer.
Gets - Tanning session at Bally's.
GEMINI
Wants - 75-foot satellite dish.
Gets - Month of free cable.
CANCER
Wants - Iron Chef's 'Kitchen Stadium'.
Gets - Tattered 'Joy of Cooking' with Mom's margin notes.
LEO
Wants - Lifetime Achievement Award.
Gets - Fogless shower mirror.
VIRGO
Wants - Disinfectant.
Gets - Disinfectant.
LIBRA
Wants - Penthouse apartment with unlimited renovation budget.
Gets - Gift Certificate to The Pottery Barn.
SCORPIO
Wants - James Bond's attache case.
Gets - Austin Powers DVD.
SAGITTARIUS
Wants - Trip to the International Space Station.
Gets - New hiking boots.
CAPRICORN
Wants - The corner office.
Gets - A pen and pencil set from Target.
AQUARIUS
Wants - To be abducted by aliens.
Gets - Best of Pink Floyd CD.
PISCES
Wants - Peace on Earth.
Gets - Halfway through the family meal before the big fight starts.
More Holiday By the Signs:
Secret Santa
Shopping Excuses

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